[DRAFT] FORMAL EMAIL SELF-INTRODUCTION


To: Ms Shirley
From: Phua Kien Gee
Date: 24 January 2019
Subject: Self-Introduction of Phua Kien Gee

Dear Ms Shirley,

My name is Phua Kien Gee, and I am writing this e-mail with an intent of introducing myself to you. I am currently a Year 2 Undergraduate from Singapore Institute of Technology, pursuing the degree in Hospitality Business. Before entering university, I graduated with a Diploma in Tourism and Resort Management from Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

Being a Hospitality Business undergraduate, I have several working experiences that are relevant to the hospitality field. For my polytechnic internship programme in 2016, I worked in Changi Airport Group, as part of the Quality Service Management team. During the four-month trimester break last year, I was given the opportunity to work as a Sales Associate in Orchard Hotel Singapore. Lastly, I also took up a part-time job in a hostel as a Front Desk Crew for six months. However, I recently resigned from my position due to school commitments.

As for my communication skills, one of my strengths is my ability to present and convey my message across in a concise manner. I believe this is an important attribute especially working in a fast-paced environment where time is precious. On the other hand, my weakness is the fear of public speaking, especially when I was required to conduct an impromptu speech under pressure. This may hinder my presentation skills as I stutter through my speech due to the lack of confidence. 

Therefore, by the end of this module, I hope to be able to improve on my presentation skills by building up my confidence level and enhancing my ability to think quicker on the spot. I would also like to find my own personal branding when it comes to communication, that would showcase my bright personality through a simple conversation with my future clients and guests. 

Thank you.

Best regards,
Phua Kien Gee


Comments

  1. Rachel January 24, 2019 at 9:22 PM

    Hi Kien Gee,

    I enjoyed reading your introduction especially since this is my first time working with you. I think you covered the important points very throughly and your paragraphing is on point! Just some minor adjustments would be:

    1. Since your work experiences are in the past, I would change the 5th line to "I have had several experiences..."

    2. I would change the 3rd paragraph, 2nd line to "especially when working..."

    3. Since your weakness should be in present tense, I would change the 3rd paragraph, 4th line to "especially when I am required to conduct an impromptu speech under pressure." Also just for clearer understanding, I would change this sentence " This hinders my presentation skills as I stutter through my speech due to the lack of confidence." to "My lack of confidence causes me to stutter, hindering my my ability to communicate clearly."

    I hope this helps! All the best in achieving your goals, I'm sure you'll be speaking like a pro in no time! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jiayun SinJanuary 24, 2019 at 9:23 PM

    Dear Kien Gee,

    It is great getting to know you better through this blog post. I enjoyed reading it, especially the part where you shared about your relevant work experiences. Your post is also very concise and easily understandable.

    However, in paragraph 3, line 3, I think you should write “especially when I am required to conduct an impromptu speech under pressure” instead of “was”. I might have misinterpreted your sentence though, so if you have already overcome your fear, I think you can stick with the original sentence! >.<

    Looking forward to work with you for this module! See you around :)

    Cheers,
    Jiayun Sin

    ReplyDelete
  3. JovinJanuary 25, 2019 at 12:10 AM

    Hello Kien Gee,

    I enjoyed knowing more about you through your self-introduction email and am glad to be given this chance to work with you for this module. With your strength to be able to deliver your pointers in a concise manner, I have a lot to learn from you as this is one of my weaknesses when in presentations!

    Some pointers to highlight:

    1. You need to include a period after "Ms.", you can read more about it here! (https://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/abbreviations.htm)

    2. In the first line of paragraph two, I recommend changing the sentence to "Coming from a related field, I have had several working experiences that are related to the hospitality industry." This allows the reader to better understand the sentence as being a Hospitality Business student has no relations to you having working experience in the industry.

    3. In paragraph three, I also recommend changing the sentence to "I believe this is an important attribute especially when working in a fast-paced environment." instead of "I believe this is an important attribute especially working in a fast-paced environment where time is precious". I included the work "when" in between "especially" and "working". In addition, I removed "where time is precious" as I feel that it is irrelevant since you mentioned "fast-paced environment".

    4. In the final paragraph, "... when it comes to communication, that would showcase..." should be changed to "...when it comes to communication, as it will showcase..." as this is the future, and future tenses should be used.

    Lets work hard together for the next 10 weeks! :)

    Regards,
    Jovin

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment